{"product_id":"incident-report-selfie-preceded-warmup-sarcastic-gym-selfie-culture-dark-humor-lifting-tee-gift","title":"Incident Report: Selfie Preceded Warmup","description":"\n\n\u003cp style=\"font-family:'Space Grotesk',system-ui,sans-serif;font-size:18px;line-height:1.45;letter-spacing:-0.005em;font-weight:500;color:#0A0A0A;margin:0 0 32px;\"\u003e\nFor the person who documents the session before it technically starts.\n\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch3 style=\"font-family:'JetBrains Mono',ui-monospace,monospace;font-size:11px;letter-spacing:0.12em;text-transform:uppercase;color:#0A0A0A;opacity:0.6;margin:0 0 12px;font-weight:500;\"\u003eThe thought\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp style=\"font-family:'Inter',system-ui,sans-serif;font-size:15px;line-height:1.65;color:#0A0A0A;margin:0 0 32px;max-width:60ch;\"\u003e\nThe mirror was good. The light was right. The pump was borrowed from yesterday but nobody needed to know that. You filed the photo before you filed a single rep. This is not a character flaw — it is a sequencing issue. The workout happened. The selfie just happened first, in a technical sense, which is a distinction you are prepared to defend. We are not here to investigate. We are here to corroborate.\n\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch3 style=\"font-family:'JetBrains Mono',ui-monospace,monospace;font-size:11px;letter-spacing:0.12em;text-transform:uppercase;color:#0A0A0A;opacity:0.6;margin:0 0 12px;font-weight:500;\"\u003eThe object\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp style=\"font-family:'Inter',system-ui,sans-serif;font-size:15px;line-height:1.65;color:#0A0A0A;margin:0 0 32px;max-width:60ch;\"\u003e\nMid-weight 230 gsm 100% cotton, in a light colorway that shows the print clean. Boxy fit — size up if you're between sizes. Screen-printed in small lots, plastisol ink. The print softens as the shirt does. That's not wear, that's use. Ships from a US partner, tracked, 5–7 days domestic, 7–14 days EU. Each lot prints once. After that we move on.\n\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cul style=\"font-family:'JetBrains Mono',ui-monospace,monospace;font-size:12px;line-height:1.8;letter-spacing:0.04em;list-style:none;padding:0;margin:24px 0 0;border-top:1px solid #0A0A0A;padding-top:16px;color:#0A0A0A;\"\u003e\n  \u003cli style=\"margin:6px 0;\"\u003e230 gsm cotton, light colorway.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli style=\"margin:6px 0;\"\u003eBoxy fit. Size up if between.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli style=\"margin:6px 0;\"\u003eScreen-printed, plastisol ink, small lots.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli style=\"margin:6px 0;\"\u003eEach lot prints once.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eEU representative\u003c\/strong\u003e: HONSON VENTURES LIMITED, gpsr@honsonventures.com, 3, Gnaftis House flat 102, Limassol, Mesa Geitonia, 4003, CY\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eProduct information\u003c\/strong\u003e: Gildan 5000, 2 year warranty in EU and Northern Ireland as per Directive 1999\/44\/EC\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWarnings, Hazard\u003c\/strong\u003e: For adults, Made in Nicaragua\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eCare instructions\u003c\/strong\u003e: Machine wash: cold (max 30C or 90F), Non-chlorine: bleach as needed, Tumble dry: low heat, Do not iron, Do not dryclean\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Printify","offers":[{"title":"White \/ S","offer_id":47254439559345,"sku":"12405781329869813636","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false},{"title":"White \/ M","offer_id":47254439592113,"sku":"96903909759927656179","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false},{"title":"White \/ L","offer_id":47254439624881,"sku":"20354481115811547918","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false},{"title":"White \/ XL","offer_id":47254439657649,"sku":"16534228651331279138","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0736\/0243\/3201\/files\/9802169547788743444_2048.jpg?v=1779494979","url":"https:\/\/loosethreads.shop\/products\/incident-report-selfie-preceded-warmup-sarcastic-gym-selfie-culture-dark-humor-lifting-tee-gift","provider":"Loose Threads","version":"1.0","type":"link"}